The Missing Piece

As I sat home this Sunday because it was Mike's turn to go to church while I stayed with the sick kids I took a stock of how I was feeling and if I was doing everything that I am suppose to be doing. And the honest answer is No. I don't always pray every morning and night on my own. I don't always read my scriptures everyday. I don't always follow and do all those things that I know I must do to keep the spirit in my life. Yet I still feel I should have those blessings and why me when they don't come? Now it's not that I don't have the desire to follow those simple rules set out for us, but as I always say to myself when I have missed yet another day of prayer and scriptures "life just got in the way". It is hard to be the Mom of 6 active, smart, some times wild kids. It is hard being a wife and even harder to keep that sense of self in everything we have to do everyday. Now we are on a plan to get debt free in the next 2 years so that we can finally buy our own home and the tight budget we live on is hard! I have had a few medical issues happening over these past couple of years that take up so much energy. Of course there is the weight thing that my doctor and I have decided that we will give my body another year maybe 2 to realise there will be no more babies before we try to hit it hard. Just eat healthy and keep moving is my goal for this time. I have headaches from tension for the past few years that some days make it hard to even move let alone see. I have pills that I could take that help a little with this but they knock me out and I feel so blah the next day that I am of no use to anyone and with kids you can't live like that. So I take painkillers when it gets bad and continue to live my life the best I can until they find another ways or until I can take the time in the mornings to be blah after these pills. The latest is why I was taking stock. over the past month I have had blinding tooth pain that I went to the dentist to get fixed. he replaced a filling that seemed be the cause and fixed a small cavity at the same time. Yet I still had pain. That was when we discovered the lump sitting under my check bone that can't be felt from the outside of my face. We have done x-rays on it and weird as it may seem nothing showed up. My Dentist sent me to my doctor who did more extensive x-rays on my whole skull and still nothing showed up so now I am on the list waiting for a CT scan. I am not too worried as it still could be anything but through the pain it causes to my teeth and my already painful headaches I sat there and said again "Why Me?", "What did I do?" then I thought about what I didn't do and I didn't talk to my heavenly father everyday so he could bless me. I didn't search for answers or seek the blessings of the scriptures everyday. I didn't do a lot of things everyday that are so simple to do and could enrich my life. Now that may not have solved my health issues but I would have more peace. So you know me by now I sat down to my favorite YouTube channel on Sundays and found this message that just screamed how I was feeling. Sometimes I think these people are watching me to find out they they need to post next to help me out. Now I don't have it as bad as this amazing guy does but the answer is still the same. So please enjoy, and instead of asking why me, find your missing piece that will make it ok.