Happy New Year!

It has been forever since I posted here. Why? Well the reasons could be the same old kids, work, busy life, and so on but really I think it s that I became lazy about it and let the excuses happen. I forgot about my goal to remember myself throughout last year and so many of the things I was doing to make me feel happier I let go, well this year I am going to make that my resolution again. I am going to have the doctors help me with this infernal weight issue that I can't seem to get under control, I am going to really do the art schooling that I love to do, I am going to take those photography courses, even if they are just small ones for now so that I can improve on a talent and hobby that I love. So many bad things happened to our family at the end of the year that I realized that I really need to do that small focus on me so that I can feel stronger in the tough times.

Let me explain more. The family had decided that instead of bunch of gifts under the tree we would take any Christmas money that came in as well as our own and get a big screen TV for our home. There was a sale on in November so we picked it up early and began enjoying it. It was a 50 inch plasma and so much nicer than the 20 inch we have been using that just didn't work well for our large family. We enjoyed it with all of our favorite DVD's (of which I am an avid collector) and it was nice. On Dec 12 we had 2 Christmas parties to go to. The ward party was at 5pm and the Costco Kids (for the kids of the employee's) started at 6pm. I worked all day that day and got home with 10 minutes to get ready, get Claudia ready and run out the door. We had already decided to head to the Costco one a little late so we could enjoy the good meal with the ward. As I quickly ran through the house turning off lights and checking everything I forgot to check the back door. I headed off to my 4 hours of fun with the kids. We had a blast. Good Food, Good Friends, Roller Skating, and Santa. When we came home I looked around and thought that the kids had really done a number on the house while I was working and that we had a big job ahead of us, didn't think twice about it as I was in such a rush earlier that I figured I didn't notice. Then my friend Sandy stopped by to drop off the nativity movie the primary kids had made and everyone recieved a copy of but we missed getting it because we left early so we could get to the other party. I was grateful and the kids excited. They ran downstairs to get the TV ready for watching it. I chatted with Sandy a few more minutes and we were fighting with the door knob (which acts up a lot in the winter) and we were in the process of sending Ben out the back door to try opening up the front the outside when Josh came running up the stairs and asks me "Mom where's the TV?" I said downstairs on the wall, he told me no so I went to go check and there it was, the wall mount empty along with most of our shelves where the dvd's were and the room just torn apart, then I clue in the the house wasn't that messy earlier but trashed. I was mortified! I came back upstairs shaking and in shock. Sandy offered to stay as I called the police but it was late for her so I told her I would be fine. I was told they would be here in about Half and hour (no rush the damage was already done right) so I called Mike who called up our good friends Connie and Al and they all showed up to help out as we struggled through the whole thing. The kids all went to sleep in my bed as none of them wanted to be downstairs, or alone. It was nice to watch them all cuddle together. When the officer showed up we walked through the house but you want to know the bonus for robbers hitting a house with so many kids is that there are kid finger prints EVERYWHERE!! which means that none (if they left any) fingerprints of theirs are viable. So brilliant (guess if I ever go into the robbery business I will have to remember that)! There were footprints through the backyard, about size 12 and the officer took pics but they walked the stuff out the backdoor (now I wish I had checked the back door, was it unlocked as there was no forced entry, or did the copy keys from when my purse was stolen 2 months ago but returned the next day?) and down to the ally and either loaded them into a truck or to a house close by but since that is where the tracks ended as cars had driven out back since then, there was no way of knowing which. It hits me then too that I didn't have to shut off the alarm when I cam home... Ugh, there are people here so often that coming home to that is normal.. the power is completely cut off to it and the panel broken... WHY? The neighbors of course didn't think any of extra people at my house as we always have extras here. Great! The police suspect that it is someone who knows my house but who? They ask me if there is anyone I can think of and of course who thinks that kind of thing about their friends? So I say no, they ask if I am sure I don't have any enemies out there, I said I have a friend who owes me $40 for a broken vaccum but that is the worst there is, isn't it? I am not sure now, how can you trust people after something like this happens to you? But I still didn't think she had anything to do with it.. to steal something from a friend because you owe them money is crazy, So I say still no. I never gave a name to anyone and the officer seemed skeptical about that, but accepted it. Was I wrong, I don't know now. Al said I should of considered it more as maybe I don't know my friends as well as I thought I did, which I have come to learn through this whole thing. Anyways everyone goes home, and we try to sleep. This was on a saturday of course. The Sunday we started the clean up, My step Dad Bill took the kids to church, except Sam and Claudia who were very clingy (Sam had had a nightmare where someone had broken into the house and kidnapped him) We cleaned up a little, discovered that some of the stuff we tought were missing weren't, just tossed under stuff (my computer was one of them, thank heavens as my online backup is full and I have pictures I can't replace on here) I put the short ribs on the cook I had bought the saturday and was trying to make it feel like a home still. Then the silliest thing was discovered, not only had the theives taken our new TV that we had only been able to enjoy for 3 weeks, and over 500 of my DVD collection, but the Banana Cream Pie Matt had picked out from a local bakery for Sunday Night dinner dessert! Poor Matt was so sad... I promised to pick up a new one on monday for the family to enjoy. So much for keeping Sunday as normal as possible.

So Monday rolls around, I deal a few people over the break in including where we got the TV from as we had purchased insurance to cover for this type of thing. Of course we find out that it only takes effect when there is forceful entry ( Why oh why didn't I check that door??!!??) But with the alarm system being shut off and broken we might beable to still have it covered... but we have have to wait for head office to decide on that one. Great! I do my deliveries for flowers. Cloe and Tommy come along. As I am driving back from a delivery on the Hart Highway to pick up kids at school and go to another delivery I have an accident. Not just a minor thing, a full blown never in my life done accident. I was on a straigh stretch of road near the mohawk gas station. I follow all the rules, I am not speeding, I have 3 to 4 seconds distance between me and the next car, everything is smooth sailing. I peek into my rear view mirror at the kids as one had screamed, I look back and the car infront of me has stopped to turn into the gas station, OMGosh! I put on the brakes, I am still going, I go to move into the other lane, there is a car there! I am still sliding, I am not slowing down, it is happening so fast, but so slow... I am going to hit the car, please heavenly father let no one get hurt. There is a bang... no noise, everything is white for a second... then I smell it, smoke and Claudia starts to scream... again so slow, but so fast too... I should be hurt but Cloe is screaming, now Thomas, there's smoke, get the kids out, jump out and get the kids out is all I can think. Make sure they are ok, they are screaming, CRAP I have the truck full of boxes of stuff to take to the school, please oh please tell me that my kids are not hurt... the door is stuck. Come on Dyanne, you are stronger than most people get the door open! I push hard and I know it shouldn't be opening but it is.... push unlock.. you need to unlock the doors. Open the door, ok kids aren't squished, just foamies on them that I had put on top that I use for transporting the flowers. There is still smoke, get the kids out! Tommy first, he is closer. He is scared but okay, no blood, all body parts moving. The other driver comes over, older lady, she is walking, she seems okay no blood, she helps with Tommy while I scramble to get Cloe out. No blood, Scared she is just scared. She can move all her body parts. A man comes over, He grabs Tommy from the lady, she is starting to hurt... Cloe is clinging, we have to get off the road, wait I need my phone so I can call for help. I go to open the front door again, geez it is hard.. the front is pushed over the front door, I shouldn't have been able to open the door, I bent the metal getting out. I grab my phone it fell on the floor on the passengers side and we get off the road. There is an A&W right there at the gas station. I carry Cloe over, the man has Tommy, the lady is walking ok but she seems a little sore, shouldn't I hurt? We get inside and sit the kds down, Now I am shaking, I can't stop shaking, I can't think straight... the kids are fine, calm them down so I can think, call 911. I can't think, The man offers to make the call for me, he uses my phone, he didn't see the accident but stopped to help, thank heaven for Angels sent when we need them. Ok, kids, calm the kids, feed them, that will work. I buy a twin burger set, fries and chocolate milk. they are fine. Marilyn is the name of the lady, she is the sister or Barb who works at one of the shops. She is slowly starting to hurt more, Why don't I hurt.. wait my knee hurts, it is a little banged up but fine... shouldn't I hurt? I am still shaking, she goes out to look at the cars. I sit down with the kids.. they are fine, OMGosh they are fine... I am crying now, they are fine. How did it happen? I didn't slow down? ..... So yah it seems by reading my thoughts as it all happened that it was like half an hour or so of time, but everything that happened was less than 10 minutes. Like I said it seemed to move so slow but be so fast at the same time. When Marilyn came back I let her use my phone she caled her sister, I went out and looked at the cars. The police were there by then. I talked to them I took a picture of each of the cars on my phone and I went back to the kids. I called Tami to come get me. And she left work a little early to come. My car is dead... gone, yep nothing left of my motor at all... There is no way I will ever be driving that car again. I am sad, but the kids are fine. we get checked over by the paramedics, I now find out that because I was having such a high adrenalin rush from not only having to worry about my safty, but the kids as well that is the reason I am not feeling any pain. Tami shows up, we get the accident report, we head out. A teacher drove the kids home from school, so we quickly go and finish the deliveries I had for the day and inform the owners that I probably won't be delivering for a little while as I now have no car. I go home and try to sleep and rest that night of which of course I can't but the kids are fine. They sleep with us that night, and they have been a little more clingy since but they weren't hurt at all and I and so grateful everyday that heavenly father was looking out for them like that. Mind you the next morning and since then I have been in such pain... you know the kind where you spent an entire day working out in a gym and now every muscle in your body hurts.. even your fingers and toes? Yep my entire body hurt. It s better now, but if I do too much then it hts me all over again.

Wow I am making this a long post... I guess that is what happenes when you have a lot happen to you. Anyways to make a long story short... I have survived the worst ending to a year I could imagine, with a great Christmas, thanks to friends and family. An wonderful New Years Eve... and the joy of knowing that I still have all my kids with me which is the gift I could of recieved this year. So I start this New Year out with knowing that I need to do somethings for me so I can be a better mom to my kids, and stick with it, and gratful that even though they may have their moments, my kids are still with me here on earth so I can see their smiles everyday.

I will post pics from Christmas and such either later tonight or tomorrow. but for now enjoy the Christmas card I made up for this year that I was never able to get into the mail.

Thanks everyone for being a part of my life. I truely love you all.