The Civility Experiment

Todays Mormon Message I am posting really hit home to me. As some of you may remember it was on this past September and October I got really sick. There were a LOT of other things going on as well and my poor mind and body couldn't handle it all. There were some people who didn't seem to understand, no matter how much they said they did, what I was going through. I ended up having to stop friendship and get really tough on some family members when a simple posting on facebook about not being able to have Thanksgiving here turned into a battle for my sanity because people took offence to not being told personally. They never seemed to get that it was never a personal attack on them.. just the only way I could communicate at that time unless they stopped by. Kindness is something I think the world needs more of. People not judging others. Now I am in no way perfect in this regard. I try but there are times when you just seem to think the worst no matter what. I will admit that when people were questioning me about why I did things the way I did over Thanksgiving I jumped to the worst about them. I was tired of fighting to see the good in everyone at that time that I gave in. Why ask me why I did that way instead of just realizing that maybe my heart was breaking over it too? I saw the worst in the questions, and maybe it was because I was expecting the worst from people who have problems taking things in the worst way. Every once in a while I see myself surrounded by all these negative people and no matter what good thoughts and feelings are put towards actions or words said, they take it all in the most negative way possible. It is exhausting thinking of the most negative things people will do or say over what you do so that you might change it before you do it so they might not have the chance to take it the wrong way. Everyone was born good. We must all remember that. So I am truly sorry to those many people through out my my life I may have hurt through my judgements. To the bullies in school who needed someone to push around and abuse because they were too hurt themselves inside to make themselves feel of worth any other way. To the people I pass on the street and make sure I avoid because my first thought is that you may hurt me because you look so different. To those people who were amazing souls that I may have hurt because I too at the time didn't know how to make myself feel like I was worth something and felt the need to lift myself up, I am truly sad over those times. Mostly I am sorry to those people I may have misunderstood while I was sick. I took all your actions and selfish and cruel when they may not have been. They still hurt that you would take my actions as an attack on you but I see now you were hurting too. I can not let myself get into such things again and may not be able to be friends again with you for sometime but I truly hope and wish for the best for you. I just can't be the person you need right now... not yet. This video will help remind me everyday what I hope to one day be like. Please take a long look at yourself and see if you can be as understanding as this amazing man.