Day 36

So today was a long slow yet busy day. It seemed that at the beginning of the day I could not keep up with all the appointments I had, the dentist, the doctor, walking, taking Ben to the bank, fixing problems with the news paper, filling out and faxing the USC papers for the kids so on and so forth, but after supper it seemed to just slow right down.... maybe it was because I was so tired from the busy day. But I have to tell you I feel better as a person today. We have been so down with finances that I have been putting the kids first when it comes to almost anything including Dental Health. So it has been over 6 years since I have had a cleaning done on my teeth.. to be honest I aam surprised I still have teeth with all the abuse I put them through, but I do. Now I do have some work to do but it is not as much as I thought and Ones that I though I would have to lose turns out I jst have cracked fillings and other such things. But what I am getting at is what a boost that simple thing did for me. I feel like I am treating myself the way I should, like I am the royal princess I tell Claudia all us women are. I also talked to my doctor about these headaches and sleeplessness I have been going through and that made me feel like I really am starting to really take care of myself. The Blood work she ordered wasn't so fun but hey good health has it pains. But seriously I really think I let motherhood take over too much of my life and forgot that I need to not only believe I am worth something but I need to treat myself that way too. If I don't can I really expect others too? So I am doing that... I am eating even better than I was before... with bumps here and there but it is getting better, I am walking every week and really working hard on trying to get it everyday, I am taking better care of my health for the rest of my body and that is making me a more confident mom which is giving my kids more. Why I didn't see this before??? well really what mother does? Don't we all start out thinking if we give our kids everything that the sacrifices we do to our selves for it is worth it? well it is but isn't it also worth it to give them a mother for as many years as we can be there for them? Maybe I am wrong , maybe I am a rare person who feels this way and needed to learn the hard way this little lesson. I was always worried that if I did do things for myself tat it would be selfish, and if I went over board with it and forgot about my kids that is exactly what it would be. So that is my big Aha for the day.... that it is okay to find and keep some time for me to treat myself the way I want to be be treated by others... maybe that means I will have a great birthday next year because by then everyone would have caught on to this new trend in my life. So goals for this week are to make sure I get my walking in everyday and to do one small thing for myself everyday... even if it is just as simple as taking 5 minutes and putting some make-up on for that extra pretty feeling. For now though.. bed to attempt to sleep.