Happy New Year!!

Well here is a quick post to say Happy 2011 to all my Friends and Family! Here is a little picture I just took tonight at the kids New Years Eve Festival. It was their first time setting off fireworks and we sure did have an adventure with it.

Some Photo Practice

So here's a quick share while I finish getting all my Christmas ones ready for you all. My friend Laura let me take a couple of quick practice portraits of her today and I thought I would share them with you. I wanted to see what I need to review from my courses last year and what I can improve on for this next year.
Thanks Laura :)

New Years: Look Not Behind Thee

As I have been having some serious conversations with my Mom about how we should move on with our lives and not let the past get to us in this New Year, my friend posted on her facebook this Mormon Message that can help us all out. As we make our Resolutions this Year let keep in mind what we are letting go with them and leave them behind us.

"All Warm and Home"

So I have been fighting with my Internet for about a week and a half now. Either there is a problem with my connection or there is a problem with my modem. This means that I get short periods of time where I have the net and even longer ones where I don't. It has made getting pictures from all our Christmas events hard to post. Telus is seeing what they can do to fix it so for now I will keep this short and post one special image to get us all through. This is of one of our little nativities that I set out on our coffee table that Cloe felt was lonely and cold so she put it in our Christmas tree and said "all warm and home" smiled all proud and left. I took a picture just to share. Enjoy!

Christmas Card 2010

So I have been working on our Christmas Card this year and I had a few layouts ready but the problem is that I haven't had the time to take the pictures of the family I wanted. So I have decided that I will take the family pictures when the kids are off for holidays and make a New Years card with them but for CHristmas I decided to take one of my favorites and turn it into a nice simple but fun card. So here is our Christmas Card for 2010. Merry Christmas Everyone!

A Warm Christmas

This is one of my all time favorite Christmas carols that is not religous. It always make me feel warm and happy so I want to share that with you :)

Kids and Christmas

So I am trying to get into the Christmas spirit this year. I am struggling, maybe it is because of everything I have gone through this year and I miss those people in my life that I had to say good-bye to so that I could heal. It just feels so empty. Anyways I am going to get it back and to start I am posting a cute message from my favorite Mormon Messages on kids talking about Christmas. Enjoy.

A Share from Sam

As you know one of Sam's favorite shows is America's Got Talent. He loves the bad performances and get passionate about the ones he loves. This season He had 2 favorites going through. The first was Prince Poppycock as we shared in this post and then he discovered Jackie Evancho who won him over and had in crying he enjoyed her music so much. He was heart broken and angry when she lost America's Got Talent but I assured him that she would have a great career and we would hear from her again. Well we have discovered that she has put out a Christmas CD/DVD and Sam is excited. Here is the youtube video from one of the songs she has in her collection. So with no further ado here is Silent Night as sung  by Jackie Evancho, Enjoy.

Some photo fun.

As I have been studying and learning more about taking photos, I have also been learning more about how to get more creative with my photos with photoshop. The best thing about being a Mom of lots of kids is that there is always someone around to practice on. Of course Cloe is the easiest with her always home so she and her Unique sense of style was my model today. Actually she didn't model anything, I just had some fun capturing her fearless climbing. She clears the shelves in the toy room and thinks they are the best place for dancing, playing, even napping once. I had some fun making the pictures show off her fun spirit. Enjoy.

What I have been working on lately

So I have to say sorry to those who like to read this blog for not posting lately but my time has been consumed with photos when I have been on the computer. The main ones being for the couple whose wedding photos I fixed as seen in this post. I gave them a free photo shoot while I was down in Vancouver for a visit. I took the photos on the Thursday before I left and then on the Monday bad luck struck the couple as the Gentleman had a stroke and has been in the hospital ever since. He is starting to recover but has a long road ahead. I have been working on trying to get their photos edited and Christmas cards made up as fast as I can so they can enjoy them. I think I am finally done and thought I would share a couple with you :) Enjoy.

On the way home

So here is just another quick pic post for today. I am Home now arrived safe and sound and apparently it was good that we left when we did because of a mud slide that closed the highway. I promise to go more into my trip soon. Here is a picture of Candi, the wonderful friend who gave Claudia and I a ride to Abbotsford and back taking a picture of a sunset as we drove home yesterday.

A quick Pic Post

Just a quick post from the Bears Claw Lodge in Cache Creek. I took this picture of Cloe taking pictures in her Jammie and winter set up and had to share. Enjoy!

Were you hungry?

................. if not then checkout Ben's Concrete Poem Assignment and you might be afterwards.

Just a Little Something

So most of you may know that I am currently on a trip with Claudia down south to visit friends and family and to destress a little from being sick the past few months. Well while I have been down here I have taken some fun photos and edited a few I have been meaning to get to. I though I would share a couple of those with you. Enjoy. When I get home I will start posting more regularly again. And tell you all about my trip.

Did you know?

We tell our kids to wash their hands all the time. There are even commercials out there that tell you the best way to prevent getting sick is washing your hands. Now I have always done it where you sing that alphabet while you do it so that you get the best coverage. Then of course there is the hand sanitizers out there too. Those are tough ones to work with because of the alcohol content in them and how often your kid sticks their hands in their mouth. But what is the best one? Well on CBSnews they had a great segment about it and I thought I would share it with you.




I think I would love to check out that book, "Why Dirt is Good"

In My Opinion

Yesterday on facebook my friend Christine shared a link by the staff at MSN that I just had to respond to here. It was about how we are all being judged on how we parent our kids. Now I am not saying they are not aloud to their thoughts and opinions on the matter but having now gone through 6 completely different types of kids, from the all star who is.amazingly responsible, to the challenging who doesn't know how to handle the world and how they think, to the calmest most easy going kid I have ever come across. I think I have had a small taste of what all the kids out there in the world have to offer and with that experience I would like to share what I think of each of these things we are being judged on. First of all here is the link to the article that I am commenting on for you to check out and then come see what I am thinking and then please tell me what you think. I may be off the mark too, every kid and parent is different.

http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/family-parenting/moms-dads/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=24052444

"1.Kids in nice restaurants - We get that kids these days have more adventurous, expansive palates than generations past. But when we're shelling out a full day's pay to savour a meal at a nice restaurant, we're not going to be happy if the musical accompaniment is the rhythm of your kid banging his cutlery on the table. He may be a musical prodigy, but to us it's just a migraine waiting to happen.
Along those lines, bad behaviour doesn't belong in family restaurants either. Climbing over the booth to stare at us or playing "tag" around the tables are behaviours best left at home."

So I am guessing that they people don't have any idea what it like to have too much coming at you all at once and not to be able to tune it out. Now I do agree that kids should behave well in restaurants but they can not learn what that means if they are never exposed to it. Sam is my amazing miracle child who has over come soo much stuff already in his 9 years of life. He once described his mind like a thousand TVs all playing at the same time and not being able to tune any of them out. He sometimes has to do something to gain control of his mind so he can focus. those something have ranged from shredding the napkins, opening all the sugar packages, to yes banging his spoon and fork on his dishes. He is not doing it to upset everyone else he is doing it to gain control over his mind so he can handle being there around all of you. Everyone of the conversations in the restaurant, every click of the forks and knives on the plates every step, every flicker of light every color in enhanced a million times over in his head and he doesn't want to be apart of all your lives.. just his. It makes life hard and frustrating for us parents who have no idea how to help and teach our kid how to handle society when society makes it harder for them because of their judgements? Instead of quiet negative comments (which by the way with kids like Sam they hear all your whispers even from across the room) or glares that they see and gets them more frustrated how about showing some compassion, maybe even ask how you can help so that the parent can control their stress level and think better. Please don't think that your the only ones uncomfortable by the whole thing. It would of been a lot easier to just stay home but then Sam would never learn how to handle you all as an adult and that would be even more dangerous.

"2. The food you feed your child - Hot dogs are a choking hazard unless you cut them properly (and they're full of nitrates, sodium and additives, to boot). How 'bout a salad instead of an order of fries the size of your child's head? And isn't the caffeine in your Frappuccino going to stunt your baby's growth?"
I 100% agree with this comment especially the coffee part of it, however, have you ever looked at the cost of ordering your kid a salad as apposed to fries? Have you ever lived on so little money that just being able to by your kids something to eat was better than nothing? Fries for a $1 will put something in your kids stomach when you don't have the $2 for the salad because you made sure to pay your rent so they could have a warm place to sleep. I would love to be able to feed my kids the best foods in the world and to never had tasted the junk out there but in reality until the world makes healthy food cheaper than junk there is not much we can do. Also sometimes you get kids who wont eat anything else (knock on wood none of mine are like that. ) but I have some friends who are struggling to get their kids to eat anything because they wont and would rather starve than eat something they don't think they would like. This is where I would love for there to be a free group for parents to take their kids to that may help the parents introduce their kids to new foods in a creative way. No pressure just fun. Kids respond better to that.

"3. Massive strollers that clog the sidewalk like human cholesterol"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!! First us Moms are judged on being over weight because getting to the Gym some days is near impossible and when we do find a way to get our exercise in you feel you have the right to judge us.. maybe it is time for you to get a freaking life. Have you ever heard of GOING AROUND!?! GET OVER IT!!



"4. Kids on planes - The only thing worse than getting on a plane and seeing a young child in your row is when said child starts screaming. They will fall asleep - but only when you're landing and you have to manoeuvre over them to get out of the row to disembark."

OK I have never taken my kids on a plane 1. because we have never had enough money and 2. I prefer travelling by van and interacting with my kids while we drive. However, I have taken little ones on a bus before and I can say it was not easy. You have to remember for that kid it is probably something new and they are probably going somewhere they are excited about. Little bodies can't hold their excitement as well as you can. Have some patience and I recommend channeling your inner child and have some fun with them. I bet you will have one of the best flights you can remember. I would also like you to remember what I wrote in regards to the first question.. you may have one of those kids on your hands and kindness goes a lot further than contempt.

"5. Public tantrums - While we understand temper tantrums can happen anywhere, and at any time, that doesn't make it OK for you to stand there looking embarrassed while your kid bangs his head repeatedly against the supermarket floor because you said "no" to the Frosted Flakes. You're the parent. And your child is not a side show (though we're averting our eyes, we're still watching them ... and judging you). Abandon the shopping cart and take your kid outside, please. At least till they calm down."

I have been one of those parents who has sat down crying in the middle of the mall because I couldn't figure out what was wrong, or for that matter crying at the store in the middle of an isle because I said no to something they wanted. I have sat outside Sam's kindergarten class just holding him trying to keep him safe from himself while he punched and kicked me until he could gain control. It still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. Tantrums are never an easy thing to deal with as a parent whether your kid has special needs or just wants extra attention. We ache inside from the fear we are failing as parents, from embarrassment because why can't our kids just be calm, from a lot more pain than outsiders can understand. There is nothing you can do sometimes. Taking them out of the store would be great but most of the time you are on such a time crunch that you don't have that luxury. I know you feel uncomfortable but really try and understand just a little of what the parent is feeling and maybe next time instead of looking at them like they are a failure, offer them a kind smile of understanding, sometimes that's all they will need to find their strength and carry on.

"6. How you discipline - Along that vein, screaming and smacking your kids to get them in line just makes us uncomfortable. So does putting them down. If that's what you do in public, we're fearful of what's going on at home." 

I agree with this... not that it is easy as a parent to not want to do this, but it is not right. However if other were more understanding about training kids other ways and didn't judge when kids cried for us saying no then we might have less parents trying to control their kids with violence just to keep them quiet and you happy.

"7. Germy kids - Flu season is bad enough. But even our best hand-washing efforts only go so far when your germy kid is coughing and sneezing all over everything. Leave them at home please. Or teach them some hygiene - sleeve sneezing, washing their hands, etc. Thanks!"


OK You have NO idea how much we as parents would like for them to do those things too, but a 2 year old will sneeze into the open air because they have sooo many things they are already trying to remember, like how to talk, plus you know how you think things are funny when you get someone a little irritated by something you did, well they think it is even funnier and will do it again just for that. Next time politely offer a tissue or remind them. On the point of view of the difficult kid, Sam, he did stuff like that just to get your attention. He knows but is looking for some reason to release his building frustration over all the noise going through his head that he is hoping for you to comment on it. He will then take that as it is ok to blow up. He is tons better now and is truly understanding how gross that is just to get attention, but his poor teacher had it rough. You are welcome to move somewhere else but patience is the only thing that helped teach Sam and so we ask for yours too.

"8. Soothers/old teddy bears/natty security blankets - Keep those nasty specimens in the crib where they belong."

OK, Thankfully, none of my kids went through this stage, but I bring up this question.... Which would you rather have these things or the screaming kids you have bashed in all the previous posts? Really you can't have it both ways.

"9. Clothing choices - From four-year-olds in skanky Halloween costumes to bundling up your baby in a snowsuit when the temperature is 10 degrees Celsius, there's no end to the ridiculous ways you dress your kids. Don't even get us started on over-the-top safety gear (though we do agree helmets are a must when playing sports, but perhaps not for baby around the house).
What your child leaves the house in is a reflection on you. Think about it next time they're getting dressed."

OK first of all, do you honestly think that if we can barely get a shower everyday, we care what our kids clothing reflects on you? Seriously people, we are just so happy that they dressed themselves that we are willing to let them go out like that. it is almost as happy a moment as when they are finally potty trained! No more having to fight with them to get them dressed because they are putting both legs in the same pants hole or they don't want to have you put a shirt over their head. The relief of having them do it on their own and the Joy, the pure Joy they have for being independent trumps any worry of how you might think of us. Really when we became parents, most of stop caring then, 4 years later or more really isn't going to change that. Actually I lie, it does change.. we careless later than at first because we have already gone through that many years of being sleep deprived. And for those who may be over dressed, are you seriously judging parents for caring as well. this statement seems to say that we parents will never win anyway because you will judge us if we don't care enough and you will judge us if we care too much. So I say we don't care about what you think.

"10. Kids out too late - When we were kids, we remember our parents making us go to bed before it got dark out in the summer. But whether it's the late show at the multiplex, the all-night Walmart or a Vegas casino (yes, we witnessed this!), dragging your zombie child around half-asleep at inappropriate hours is tantamount to child abuse in our opinion."


I agree that kids should not be out to late, but too late depends on your family situation. If your a single parent who works 2 jobs and has already exhausted your babysitting options while you work then taking your kids with you to get the shopping done late at night because that is the only time you have IS NOT CHILD ABUSE!! Seriously people. You don't know why the kids are out late. If the parent is taking the kids to the late show we can sit back and think it is wrong.. but what if the reason they are there is to have a moment to escape and that moment saved that kids life because the parent was getting so over whelmed that they couldn't take it anymore? There are more and more stories of this happening everyday. Parents need stress relief and because so many others are only worried about themselves and not about helping out. We have free rides for those who drink so we can save lives by them not driving home drunk but we need a free on call babysitting service as well for those who need a break. EVERYONE has some kind of problems and need some escape. Maybe instead of judging those who have to take their kids out late, you can support and volunteer in a service to give those parents a break so they can get the shopping done. Also maybe the kids who are out at the movie late with a parent is enjoying the only time they get together. You never know why someone else is doing something unless you have walked in their shoes.

"11. Crazy schedules that impact everyone else - Nap time. Lunch that needs to be eaten between 11:15 and 11:38 sharp or junior will get a stomach ache. Dinner at 4:30. Bath time at 6:15 followed by bed at 7 p.m. and not a second later. We get kids need routine but we don't want to have to stick to your crazy schedule to see you. Does it really matter if the kid goes to bed 30 minutes late every once in a blue moon?"


Is it just me or is this a complaint that is the complete opposite of what you judged us for in that past post? So you have judged on us not having a schedule and now judging on us on having one? Really is there making you people happy? Schedules are there to help us teach our kids everything you have just complained about. If you are feeling put out because we are keeping our kids in line then you are more than welcome to go find someone else to hang out with. This routine is even more important for parents with special needs kids. We already are feeling looked down upon, please don't come around and make us feel bad for doing something right. Without these routines these kids would be running wild in the streets.

"12. Kids on leashes - Enough said."


Really not enough said. Have you not been reading the paper or hearing the news lately? Have you seen or heard the statistics of kids being abducted or going missing everyday? If not then let me enlighten you; In the year 2007 there were in Canada 56 kidnapped kids; 285 Parental abducted kids; 46,189 runaways; 11,216 UNKNOWN cases of missing kids; 33 cases of accidental disappearances but nobody has been recovered; 576 kids that have just wandered off because they got confused; 2,227 other cases making a total of 60,582 MISSING KIDS.  And that was the stat 3 years ago... Where did I get my info well your welcome to go here to check for yourself.
So yeah Kids on leashes.. Enough said!!
"13. Breastfeeding for too long - If they're old enough to ask for a snack, feed them something else."


Now here I will admit to being one of the people who has judged others a little bit on this. Not that I don't think everyone has a right to their choice, but it was uncomfortable for all of Ben's kindergarten class (which was split with some grade one) to have a parent show up every snack and lunch time to breast feed her son. I feel that was a little overboard. But it is not my place to tell others what they should or should not be doing with their own kids. I don't know or live in their shoes. I will say that I did breast feed each of my kids, some only 4 months for one reason or another and some up to 8 months. Each kid was different, and the same is true for every family.

So there you have it, my thoughts on what others judge us parents for. You may or may not disagree but that's the point, we all have differencing opinions and we should respect others for it and try to make life easier instead of harder. What do you think?

Something New

So in our family we have the rule that you have to try something at least once before you decided you don't like it, no matter how weird it may look. So the other day Cloe and I were in the local chocolate store picking up some little treats for the ladies I visit teach and Cloe found Chocolate Dipped Bacon! Uhm yeah I couldn't fathom why someone even dreamed that up but I bought one to try because Cloe really wanted to taste it and the lady said it was a surprising combination of sweet and salty. Here is a picture of it...

So what do you think? Yummy or a "Uhmm" looking treat? Well they jerky the bacon so it lasts longer and I have to say I am not a fan of that taste to begin with but really didn't enjoy the mix of the chocolate and the bacon together. Yummy treats separately but not my cup of tea together... want to know who did enjoy it though? Well just take a look :)



Yep that is bacon chocolate all over her face and in her hands... I guess if you truly love anything chocolate even Bacon Dipped chocolate will make you happy. Have you tried anything new today?

Lest We Forget

In humble remembrance to all those who have died and continue to die and fight so that we may live. Your sacrifice will forever be cherished by all of us who live free.

Our Friday Tradition

So every family has something they do that helps bring them closer together. We love family home evening here but it is hard because Mikes days off have a habit of changing on us because they need him on days that are busier than others. He finally had Sunday and Monday off (which he has been asking for for 4 years now) and they just moved him again and told him that they could no longer give him those days. So we decided a couple of years ago that every Friday night, no matter if he can be there or no, the kids needed something to look back on and say that was our time to enjoy being a family no matter what. So ours is Friday Night Movies. We love Movies here. with all the struggles we go through, with movies we can escape for a few hours and be where everything thing else in a happy ending. That is why it was so hard last year when our new TV that was finally one big enough for us all to be able to see and all of our DVD's gone. We managed to get through it and in April bought a second hand big screen TV and we are slowly building up our Collection of DVD's again too. My favorite place to get them from is Feature Films For Family Plus I am a huge animation fan so this week we did Toystory 3! It has such a powerful message about family that I think the kids were needing at the moment with them feeling so separated with Ben going to a new school and spending a lot of time on homework. Cloe misses having her brothers at home during the day and of course they all have their own friends at school, which is good. But they are so close that I wanted to remind them that they should still stick up for and remember what's important. So here are some pics I took last Friday from our movie night and then Josh's laser show he put on afterwards. Do you any any Family traditions you do every week besides family home evening?

In a horrific side note we are having another issue with our computer... it is called Claudia. She was needing a stepping stool so took down the laptop and used it. After the boys played around for a little while this is what we have for a usable screen right now. At least it can be hooked up to the unused monitor that is waiting for a replacement desktop ;)

Marriage and Divorce

As I have been sitting here going through my tough times there have been members of my family and friends who have been going through something harder. Some of these people, although still hard and painful, have found peaceful ways to cope, and there are others that can't help but try to make the other person hurt as much as they do at this moment time so that maybe for a brief second they can feel a little better. My heart goes out to all of them. Divorce is not an easy choice or one that brings immediate happiness. It is a long hard and painful road and without the right people to lean on, or faith that the Lord will help you it only gets worse with no light for happiness. I hope this message of Love from me to them and all my friends and family who are married or thinking about being married helps you get through these tough times.  I Love you all!!Even if I can't be there for you or if I have to step back from being the one you lean on.

Late Nights

So I have dreams of one day going back to school. I have this great thrist for learning and just want to soak it all in. I have to say with Ben starting High School a year early and not having the right study habits because the work in his previous school was too easy for him, I might not be quite as anxious anymore. I forgot how much extra work is involved and there just isn't time for that anymore. This is the last couple of weeks for this term so there are a lot of major projects he has to complete and we are trying to get a good schedule in place but it is hard! We will find it and I am sure it will get easier. Not being sick will help with that I think. If anyone has any suggestions or maybe remembers a great trick from high school (cause we all know I never took studying and homework that serious... my big mistake) PLEASE feel free to pass it on. Thanks. For now what is a post without a picutre. Here is Ben sneaking in some late night work...

What I didn't know I was missing

So most if not all the people who know me know that Claudia is my only girl and that could be what I am referring to in my title, but it isn't. You see what I didn't know I was missing was enjoying a toddler with out a babes in arms. I had Ben and then 1 year later Josh joined and then every 2 years after that give or take a few months until Cloe came along and we are done. So for the first time ever since becoming a Mom I get to enjoy the toddler stage, and I mean really enjoy it. The conversations that just seem to come out of mid air about some of the strangest things. Cloe's latest thing to say is "I have an Idea!" and then go into this mass plan that makes completes sense to her but I am still marveling on how much she seems like Sam with that statement. It is amazing how much more you can get out of this time with your little one. I can take her to the mall to talk to Bell about the problems I am having with my service and options for adding another line and it is just her there. No baby to sooth. We could stop at the Merry-Go-Round with the horses and she can play without the rush of  "Babies going to need to eat soon and it is sooo uncomfortable to sit in the hard chairs at the mall to do it". It was just fun! And I could do something fun like remember my camera to catch it all.



And when taking forever at my stop there is just her to take care of and entertain, no screaming baby because it is now past feeding time with a cranky toddler who just wants to go ride the horses we would of had to skip on the way by. She just put her head down in the cart and said she was mad. It was so easy and peaceful compared to what I am use to. It was cute too so there was no getting cranky on my end.

Of course the 20+ minutes we were there for made for one great negotiation on her part, and she is good at it. Sam has been teaching her and she has caught on fast. Even got the ice cream lady to give her sprinkles on her ice cream cone. It made the experience so different from the first time I ventured to the mall with a 2 year old. I sat crying on the Bench for 30 minutes because I had no idea how to handle the stress I was going through. I truly never thought I would enjoy shopping again. Now I just need to get the income raised up enough to buy things when I go ;)



Starting to feel better..

.... So this is what I did yesterday.
I called Bell on the fact they changed my upgrade date and told them that Rogers is willing to pay my close out costs on my contracts (of which I have 6 with them right now) so that I could switch to Rogers thus getting my upgrade returned to me so I was able to get my new cell that actually works.

I went on a quick photo venture with Candi to take pictures of the Ducks that are still here which helps us know that winter isn't coming just yet (thank goodness). Here are a couple of those pictures.

I went to Lunch with my sister at the college in between her classes with her Women in Trades course she is taking. I snapped this picture of her with her safety glasses still on her head while we waited for the food. Mmmm it was so yummy looking I forgot to take pictures of it (next time I promise)

I came home and relaxed and rested with Claudia while we waited for the kids to get home from school. I was exhausted by dinner time so I need to remember to slow it down so today I might spend more time like this with Cloe. I am just so glad that I can think better and do things again.

What did you do yesterday? What are you planning for today?

Yet To Be Finished

Today's post is dedicated to Ben! He has been working hard, learning how to be a high school student. He just finished a major project on being self aware that ended in him having to write a poem or prose about himself and I took this project and placed it over a picture so I could share it all with you. Enjoy.

Oh So Sweet!

That is for all my amazing friends and family who remind me everyday how I really don't need the other people in my life. You are all the sweet joy that chases all the sadness away.

Speaking of sweet things, after a Halloween where I had no control, this is what is ALL over my home....

Have I mentioned how happy I will be to have my head back to normal so I can make sure this house runs runs properly. Then maybe the mountain of candy that is usually a little more controlled might be tamed down. Until then I dedicate these sweet photos those those sweet people in my life. Thank-you for all you do.



To those selfish people in my life..

..You win. I am broken. You have taken the last of me. My trust in others is gone and there is nothing left for any of you so can you please just leave me and my family alone now. My kids deserve better than to spend their lives dealing with this crap and having others treat them this way. They will have better. Do yourselves a favor and stop blaming the world, stop blaming others, stop trying to find ways to get what you want no matter who gets hurt. You will only be lonely in the end. You will lose everything and nobody deserves that, nobody. So seek help, find peace, do what you need but know that I am no longer here for you as there is nothing I have left to give you. Any strength I have left will go to making sure my kids never get treated this way or feel this way because they will be strong enough not to let people like you use them. They will know better than I did. They will live Happy lives and through that I too will be happy again. For now I mourn the loss of those I love and once trusted. I truly hope my kids never really understand the pain you have caused me over the years.

Gravestones Just for Jenny

OK so my amazing cousin Jenn has asked to see what the gravestones looked like before I spooked them up so for those who may not want to see this go ahead stop reading this blog now... hey I will even give you a chance to do this before you see anything.
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Now that those people are gone we can carry one to the good stuff. Yep these are the gravestones before the fun I had with my kids began. They had a blast changing their faces and making fun pictures, but this is where the idea all started... so please enjoy. I did! I even laid down on the cold wet grass to get some of these shots.