Day 16.. shopping day

So today was grocery shopping day and I am sure I will regret later the amount of money I spent on food when I have so many other bills to pay but I really needed to get healthier choices for me here in the house. The problem I have with that is if the government and all these companies want us to be healthier people and lose weight so we don't burden the economy (Not something I have had to worry about yet... knock on wood) then why price the healthy food choices so much higher than the regular? How is a family of 8 people suppose to survive on 2/3 of the food we normally spend if we get healthier stuff? Spending more isn't always an option, we don't have more. So how are we suppose to change for the better when the better is too much money? No wonder why there are more people over weight in the lower income bracket... they don't have any choices. It's is great to us all to eat the lean ground beef but when regular beef is half the price and we can feed our kids for 2 weeks instead of 1 why would we choose to risk starving our kids for health. Isn't a mothers instinct to first preserve the life of her young over her life? Yes the kids need their mother around so then the catch comes in on how to solve this problem. Save the kids and risk the health of the mom or save the mom and risk the health of the kids. Now there are people who may read and not understand what I am talking about because they have never had to struggle like this, and there are others who will completely understand where I am coming from. I don't want to be a rich family that has it all because I think we would lose a lot of what we have now as a lower income family, but I want the government and those who sell our food to regulate the cost of this all so that I don't have this kind of dilemma to face. I love having healthy choices for my kids, I insist upon it but those choices have caused us to go through periods where we only have rice and hamburger in the house for a week to live off of and pray that we get enough money the next week to get us through. Fresh vegetables are such a treat for us most times because the cost of getting them is so high. When we have them I love farmers markets and get great deals and eventually I want a large garden of my own to help save on cost, but when you don't have that and you can't buy enough during the times there are around so that you can have a supply then you do what you can. As I type this part of me can't help but to think that I am failing my kids when I can't get them those things that they need and I am failing them as well by not being the best I can be health wise. I don't know if there is a winning situation here for me. I know I am not a failure in my head but my heart doesn't always agree and tonight is one of those nights when I am struggling with it. I have the healthy food in the house today so that I can accomplish the healthier mother and the kids will have what they need, but will it be enough to last through until the next shopping day? I don't know. Even being as thrifty as I am, I don't know and that scares me. But on the bright side even though I am having these feelings of doubt I did not go over my eating allowance and I stayed on track. So this is the point I am going to focus on tonight when I go to sleep so that I start getting the negative thoughts out of my head and I will deal with the problems as they come and not build them up before they arrive... if they arrive.